The transition to college involves so many changes and new variables that it can be hard to know what you need to talk about in advance. Talking with your young adult about some key aspects of their lives, like a plan for communication with parents, important resources on campus, financial responsibilities, safety and decision making, and academic expectations, can help both them and you feel prepared to take the next steps.
Communication and Family Responsibilities
For years, communication between you and your child may have naturally occurred without excessive planning. In the car, around the dinner table, and over text, you may have been casually checking in with each other and maintaining connection. But when your child goes off to college, some of these natural touch points may not be there anymore. Prior to the beginning of college, it can be useful to discuss plans for communication and clearly share any expectations you have for how often you would like to talk. That way, both of you know what to expect within the new environment. However, it is important to recognize that if your child is communicating less than you’d hope for, it doesn’t necessarily mean that something has gone wrong. Most likely, they are feeling immersed in college life and may simply be busy and enjoying their new independence! As they adjust to their new schedule and environment, communication expectations may need to shift and change.
Financial Responsibilities
Financial responsibilities for young adults entering college may vary greatly. While some students may be on a pre-paid meal plan, others will be tasked with budgeting for food, entertainment, and school supplies. While some students may have financial support from family members or scholarships, others will have to make time for work-study jobs or work positions while in school. As your child is preparing to go off to college, start a discussion about their individual financial position. Informing them about their responsibilities and introducing some strategies for budgeting can set them up for success. You can also let them know who they can talk to if they find themselves struggling financially.
Academic Expectations
During college, academic success and management of deadlines should primarily be the responsibility of the student. However, some students may need to maintain a certain academic status to participate on a sports team or be eligible for a scholarship. Discuss with your child in advance what these expectations are, and identify academic resources at their college that they can turn to. If you notice that your child is struggling academically, encouraging them to reach out to these resources can be helpful. You might also discuss with them their organizational strategies and see if you can problem solve together to make their academic work more manageable without rushing in to fix it.
If your high school student has an IEP, you can help support them by contacting student services at their college and seeing if their IEP/accommodations can be extended. Usually, students are able to continue receiving support from an IEP up until 22-years-old. For most young adults on IEPs, it is very hard to seek out this help independently, so it is a way to set them up for success before they even get started. That could mean taking tests in smaller classrooms or with extended time, schoolwork completion support, and other resources their college may have available.
Safety and Decision Making
Many high schools provide a basic level of sex education and discussion about alcohol and drug use. Engaging in sexual activity and alcohol and drug use is common upon entering college, and it is normal for young adults to feel an urge to explore. Framing a conversation about these behaviors around safety and decision-making can be a great way to normalize that they will be faced with these choices, but to help guide them in making responsible decisions. Some important topics to cover include consent in sexual relationships, how to set their own boundaries, how to drink responsibly, and who to call if they feel unsafe or need to support a friend who might be in an unsafe situation. Since you may not be near campus with them, help them identify in advance support services that can intervene in an emergency, and educate them about any medical amnesty policies that might apply on their campus. The most crucial message to portray is that even if they make a decision you might disagree with, the most important thing is to get help if they need it.
Mental Health
If your young adult has been living with mental health concerns prior to college, they may benefit from additional preparation before leaving home. Many times, going off to college means being disconnected from providers who are not licensed in the new state or who don’t provide telehealth services. Their support system might be changing, and being proactive about identifying new supports can help create a smoother transition. Rather than waiting for a crisis, planning to have support upon arrival can ensure that, when things become difficult, they know exactly who to go to.
While colleges have counseling services, they are typically limited to about 8 sessions. If they have a current provider, ask for a referral where they go to school, and if applicable, make sure prescribing and medication management is set up so there is not a lapse in access to necessary medication. This establishment of continuous care for your child can help manage mental health symptoms proactively, rather than when problems occur.
Aside from identifying providers, you can work with your young adult to create a plan for how to manage big emotions and challenging moments. Identify with them symptoms that tend to indicate that they are struggling, coping strategies that have worked for them in the past, safe and supportive people they can reach out to, and who they can contact on campus for immediate and more long-term support.
Even if your child has not been engaged with mental health support in the past, discussing resources and coping strategies can still be helpful. College is a huge period of transition, and new variables can introduce stress. This transition creates the perfect storm, where prior support is harder to reach, academic demands are higher, independence can feel like pressure, and creating a new social network can introduce new worries. Research has found that college can be a period where mental health concerns first emerge. The APA reported that during the 2020-2021 academic year, more than 60% of college students met criteria for at least one mental health problem, and UnitedHealth Group reported that 69% of college students in 2026 reported experiencing a mental or behavioral health concern in the previous year. This shows us that struggling with mental health in college is common, even if parents aren’t aware, and identifying mental health support on campus is an important protective factor.
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